Apparently, someone has been lying on me, getting the credit for all that I have done around the house, portraying me as a “lazy” person. It takes me an hour and a half to clean the house: sweeping, dusting, mopping, and laundry. The kitchen was already cleaned from last night, but all I did was wipe down the counters to make sure that it was fully clean. I left the table as is until someone decides that she wants to eat and make a mess. I will clean the table later today before everyone gets home. I had to take pictures of what I have done so far to make sure that I have proof of what I did and that the house was clean when I was done. I am airing out the room so that later on, I can sweep and straighten up later. Then I will mop! I am not going to clean up everyday behind someone. I make it easy for people around here to clean up behind themselves and if they cannot do that, then it is not my fault. And I will make that known should the issue arise. But the issue never arises because no one wants to start “trouble” or address it. It is sad that the person who runs this house doesn’t want to deal with the problem that causes tension, since it is so easy to put the blame on the people who are actually doing the right thing by working and cleaning the house. Making seem that the person who isn’t doing anything, is the light of the family. They shouldn’t have to deal with it since it is an immature and needless issue to deal with. But I am sick and tired of being lumped into a category with a person who acts like she doesn’t have the time to take care of the house for her family.
For the past 2 months or so, I have take it upon myself to make sure that the house is taken care of for the lady of the house so that she didn’t have to worry about this detail. But did anyone want to hear my side; that the fact that I have been cleaning house this whole time. Her daughter cleans the house for a week or two while the lady was at home, and she gets automatic trust that the house has been taken care of by her. But no one wants to hear that I have been dealing with someone that does not clean up after herself.
Awhile back when I was working and my husband was at home, not working, I was accused of taking advantage of him and not pitching in around the house, because I wanted him to take up the slack of making sure that the house was clean. Now that the tables have turned, the responsibility has been placed solely upon my shoulders. And no one backs me up! Not even the person who works one day a week and goes to school part-time.
The family that I have married into has not given me the chance. I haven’t been able to get close to my father and mother-in-law because of their daughter. She hogs them, possessively, which disables me from being myself with them or getting to know them because of some fear that someone may think I will take them away from her. So I just keep to myself and don’t make the effort. And in that, they have accused me of hiding, not wanting to get to know them, to open myself up to them. It is a fact that I have trust issues, but this has caused me to stay in my shell.
Honestly, I haven’t done anything wrong to the princess. Since I have been in my husband’s life, she had acted negatively towards me. The first incident was when we were allowed to move in after we got married. She declared what was hers and no one could have what she acquired, but then she would turn around and dig into things that we bought for ourselves. In being fair and how she treated us, we declared that she shouldn’t have the right to get into what we had claimed to be ours. That may have seemed petty, but when it was our understanding that we should respect her things (which is fair) and she should respect ours. She didn’t do that. She violated the very rule that she applied to us without applying it to herself. At that point, I did not want to associate myself with a person that did not follow boundaries, especially ones that she set on her own. To me, that made it look as if we had no right to be there (actually we had no right period), and she had the run of the house, and could do whatever she like. Worse of all, she was backed up by her parents. And that was always the case in any situation or argument. She was backed up regardless. It was as if saying, “Just give her what she wants so she can shut up and we can have peace.” Which makes sense. Dealing with a person that has no boundaries, no consideration for others, selfish, demanding, and above all immature and petty is very exhausting and drains the energy. No one should have to deal with someone like that, especially since they are a grown adult. But that only gave her power to do what she liked and have no consideration for anyone else.
I have stopped trying to figure her out. Whether she truly is a malicious and devious person who thinks that whatever deals with her is important or she truly has a mental disability, there is no telling and it does not matter. I do not trust her. She has never given me reason to trust her and I refuse to kiss her ass and be nice. I will start talking to her when she realizes that the world in this house does not revolve around her. That there are other people in the house and she has to account for all of her. When she starts handling her responsibility, then there maybe the possibility of warming up to her. Her attempt at small talk, offering to share food, and the like can be a nice gesture, but in her case, its just some form of control and denial. As if there is no problem to deal with, and it makes it all the problems dissipate, giving her the right of way to continue acting, behaving, and doing all the things that is hurtful to our daily harmony.
It is up to her to restore harmony to the house by falling in line with what everyone is trying to do. If she keeps up with her attitude and incapability to take responsibility, then there will be no reason who me to be “friends” with her or acknowledge the fact that she lives here and deserves of the rights that she so conveniently believes is hers.